The Past Week

Update of what went on:

• Thursday: Military dinner with 15 of my coworkers. Absolutely great until we all decided to go out afterward which led to a lot of debauchery. All I know is that I made it home safely, but I don't really know how. Damn you Rumpleminze - And you too Farmerstein.
• Friday: HATED MY LIFE all day despite the fact it was my birthday. I was literally crawling all day long. It was terrible. I had a shot at lunch to clear up the headache, but to no avail. The 3 hour nap remedied that feeling so I could get absolutely shithoused again for my actually birthday with all my friends. Damn you Sake Bombs and Rumpleminze.
• Saturday: Considering I blacked out the previous two nights I decided to take it easy. Berg tried to rally me, which he did to a point until I realized that was a terrible idea and immediately retreated to my bed. Great choice.
• Sunday: Rallied my ass out of bed and got it together to attended the Charger game with Midget. Let's just say that my beer intake for a Sunday Funday was immense and I don't recommend trying to drink Red Bull vodkas after consuming said large amount of beer. Not to mention there is nothing worse than being awake when a hangover hits.
• Monday: Today royally sucked. My head and stomach were turning for the better part of the day and I basically felt like shit. Nothing worked, not to mention that I woke up at 4am and couldn't fall back asleep because I had so much on my mind, and I felt like shit.

Not to mention, for those of you who don't know, I lost my grandfather on Nov 27th, my best friend Lia's grandfather on Friday, a friend from high school yesterday and my best buddy Jake (my dog at home) just now. It's been a rough week for me and these things haven't helped out...needless to say it's been a little crazy.

A Life Lesson

I stop in at the Nite Owl every Monday afternoon because of work and this is roughly the time I should see them anyway. I usually stick around for 30 minutes or so to chit-chat about what-have-you with the bartender Jen because either A) she is really bored or B) there is some effing weirdo/freak in there that is trying to marry her. Either way.

Today was no exception because when I walked in there was a gentleman sitting at a table alone looking exceptionally weird/freaky and well as relatively assassin like. I'm not really all about that. Regardless, I take their order and come back out to find my normal bartender shooting the shit with another man about his niece. He shows Jen a picture and her response "Wow she has huge tits for a 16 yr old!" and this is the story that follows:

• Man: "Yeah she does. Anyway, so her father and I are driving with her and her brother the other day and her brother finds a used rubber/condom/whatever you want to call them in the back window of HER car. She yells to throw it out and her father and I turn around to see the commotion. I yell and her father is like - it's ok I already know. My niece was absolutely appalled."
• Jen: "I had sex at 16 years old. I wish I would have waiting til I was like 18 or 19, because {ahem the best part and I quote} it's quite a life lesson to have a penis in you."

Moral of the story. Write that down.

Plus and Minus

Weekend Recap:

Plus: I didn't have to work on Thursday or Friday.

Minus: I had to go home for not fun reasons.

Plus: I got to go home.

Minus: I now have a sore throat from going home for two weekends in a row.

Plus: I came back to SD Saturday.

Minus: It took me longer than anticipated. Damn you delayed flights.

Plus: I went out that night with T-Rex, Berg and his posse to the Silver Fox.

Minus: Didn't help the cough.

Plus: I scored an amazing amount of jager shots and an awesome tasting spicy hot dog with nacho cheese sauce from the hot dog guy outside. I highly recommend them.

Minus: It was effing freezing outside.

Plus: T-Rex fell over on the walk home due to retardation.

Minus: I lost my phone due to my excessive laughter which impaired my walking capability.

Plus: I found my phone in a driveway while retracing my steps.

Minus: Couldn't find a solid Hammy video upon my return.

Plus: Ran into the Gourmand's brother on the walk home at 330AM.

Minus: Totally forgot I had someone waiting on me and really upset him.

Plus: I slept until 100PM the following day.

Minus: It didn't really matter because my body couldn't move if it tried.

Formal Apology

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to formally apologize to those who read my blog for my slacking in entertainment and blog posts. I just returned back to SD from the 831 and while I was home I was completely berated for not posting more things (ahem, Michelle). Therefore I will make it a point to write about all the shananigans I get into because I know some of you out there have nothing to do during the day (ahem Michelle) and/or have really boring lives and have to vicariously live through me. With that being said, be on the look out for more posts and exceptionally witty comments and side splitting humor.

Sincerely Yours,
Stinky Pants