Brothas

Apparently it is brotha day on MySpace for Stinky because I have just received three random messages from brothas who want to be my friend. I use the term "brotha" in the most friendly way possible for the record. These are the messages:




Hey, whats up? I'm trying to make something happen in the music industry. If you don't mind take some time out and listen to my music and leave a comment on the song telling me what you think. It doesn't matter if its negative because I love constructive criticism. Thanks Bogard




http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=25182314
hello there gorgeous, how are you doing, my name is Usher, i am a tall attractive brotha from mission valley, originally from brooklyn, i am also a marine here in san diego, just wanted to know if you are attracted to brotha's? Usher




can i add you sexy?






Big day for Stinky. Riiiiiiight....

Random

What happened?

Can anyone please inform what happened on Sunday Funday? It was ridiculous. I can't even begin to explain everything that happened, but I will do my best to give you what I remember:

1. We started the debauchary at 230PM at the Tavern for pitchers, which was ultimately a great choice because it was beautiful weather.
2. We crashed a graduation party at Moondoggies because we heard it was open bar for about 2 hours. We schmoozed with the parents and all. Mind you, we are at our own table ordering round after round after round while the parents and all the sober graduates talk to each other.
3. Tilt & Vodka was a good choice. Open bar was a great choice. Crashing a graduation party we weren't invited to, an even better choice.
4. Again I jumped on the tequila train which almost immediately derailed right on the table. Drinking well tequila just because it's open bar is quite possibly the worst choice in the history of the world. Don't do it because things that look like this happen.

1. Scooper opted to not drink anymore shortly thereafter. She didn't really tell us, but moreso just passed out right at the table. I commend thee.
2. About an hour later she was thrown out, so Pooper and I took her back. Btw there is nothing better than when your account's manager comes up to you and asks you to remove your friend from the property, as if the bar itself wasn't enough : )
3. For whatever reason, Pooper and I thought since it was only 10PM we should go back to Moondoggies.
4. Great idea because she got thrown out after being there for about 45 min to an hour.
5. Btw, the Pit left me the best message on MySpace today. "I just got three words for you, tequila." Amazing. The Pit everyone...

Fresh Wet Fun, Ah Summer

It's that time and I am so excited. The kick off to summer is finally here, Memorial Day Weekend. It's Sunday, which means Sunday Funday and we don't have to work tomorrow, so you know what that means. The tequila train is picking up and I'm not sure if it's ever letting off. The posse is back together and its going to be absolute craziness.

I would like to point out I saw some interesting things last night, naturally because I am posted up at the Silver Fox and that's just what happens. For the record there was also a line later in the night to get in, but I was so confused as to why. This guy was there...





and there were other randoms as well, who thought they were really important, but I made sure to prove otherwise. I also ran into my cousin there, which was random cause I didn't even know she was going out, much less to the Fox. Also, Tapatio invented Rumpleweiser last night, direct quote "Invented it on the spot, rumpleminze n budweiser n chug!!!" This was followed with an amazing quote this morning of "I reached for the water this morning and there was a Sparks there, so I had that too"

I was going to write more, but I just don't really care right now because the posse will be here soon and I have to get my drinking shoes on.

Sunday Funday get on it. Fresh, Wet, Fun...Ah Summer.

Electrical Problems

There is nothing like an entire bar closing down at 1130PM, and by closing down I mean completely shut down, like go black. Why? It may have been due to the generator failer which cause a power line to hit a car and ignite in flames, which then, everyone stares at and does not try to put out or move away from. This is the shit that happens to me while I am out. The unfortunate part is that it was at the Tavern, which we all also know is my favorite place.

I also managed to find a hot dog stand (on the west side of Garnet mind you, by Moondoggies) and snagged about three people's hot dogs. I'm not sure how it happened, but the chili one and the one with Saratchi sauce was amazing. I snagged a churro from some nice girl too, which was a great dessert. And I don't know what my problem was last night, but I was being really demanding and refusing coupled with being really inappropriate and running away. I don't get it, but I'm not really a fan.

Another thing to be noted, apparently I am concerned, consoling roommate when I am drunk (along with Smellso) because I came home last night and was super exceptionally nice to PNas while he chatted it up with us. The best part is I was chatting with him this morning and asked him the same things I asked him last night, starting the same conversation. Clearly I don't remember any of it, in fact I didn't even know that he was awake when I got home. I'm sure Kelsey didn't either because she won as the most wasted friend of the evening.

Lastly, for those of you playing, due to the fact it is a three day holiday weekend, the scoreboard will now close on Monday night, so you have a day and a half more than normal. Next week it will go back to Sunday at 10AM. For those of you wondering, PNas is leading with 3 for the week.

A Couple Things

1. Apparently my roommate, O Todd, has ESP.
2. It's really creepy when you find out your older retailer is dating your best friend's old best friend from middle school.
3. Airbags explode when you hit things at high velocity.
4. When you return from jail and you mention your ass hurts, odds are good you shouldn't have fallen asleep.
5. My boss told me he took a bath this morning. I almost yacked instantaneously.
6. Turns out that the owl that I coincidentally saw again on top of the Firestone sign in PB is fake/wooden.
7. I have had two friends try to move away from the ocean (one to the east coast and one to inland Ca) and both have resulted in extentive hospital visits and returns home. Note to self: Don't try to move away.
8. I fixed my internet so I can waste my life away and fill you in on all my pointless thoughts.
9. Oh yeah...take that Time Warner

Curiosity

Why do I let my curiosity get the best of me? Everytime I do, I do something stupid or I get myself into some kind of predicament. Today, I am driving back from downtown taking the 163 like normal. I see the 163N split with Friars Rd and I normally take Friars to go to my house, but the exit to Friars runs parallel to the 163N and I wanted to know why they have separate exits. Stupid. It's because they don't connect that's why Stinky, idiot.

What works out is that I have to go back to my office and pick something up, so I can take the 52. Well I see the Balboa exit, which comes before the 52, and know that Balboa connects to Garnet, so apparently that would be an excellent choice right? Absolutely not. Not only that, but I am now on the other side of the 805 and have to sit through lights in order to get back to Garnet, which does connect to Balboa, for the record. Not to mention there is construction on this damn road too. Damn you Curiosity.

Also, I would like to point out my roommate is an idiot and I still don't have internet.
On the plus side, three day weekend and I saw X-Men 3 this morning and its absolutely amazing so you all should go see it.

That is all.

Confidential

I have recently found a new quasi-love for downtown. I couldn't do it all the time, however I have done the downtown thing twice this week and I am a fan. It is also exceptionally close to where Pooper is staying, which is really convenient because there is ample parking and its a nice little jaunt home when we are done. Two nights ago the tequila train picked me up at Confidential and dropped me off at Martini Ranch. It was a nice little trip, however I was exceptionally tired the next day. Amazingly, I didn't feel like shit like I have all day tonight.

I was good to go last night, but I think I mixed a little bit too much, which is why my head still hurts at 445PM. Actually that's not true, I wasn't good to go, I was gone. I don't what happened but I think it was the hott bartender at Confidential that slipped me a roofie, just kidding Hoffman, but seriously those two drinks he made me knocked me on my ass. Not to mention everything else I drank: wine, tequila, double vodka tonic, beer, ending with the two mysterious drinks.

On the plus side, X-Men III: The Last Stand comes out tomorrow and I am so stoked to go see it. First showing at Fashion Valley. Don't worry Hoff already bought tickets, the two nerds are getting together to spend some quality nerd time.

Also on the plus side from last night: The George Clinton show we saw at the House of Blues was amazing. Really great performance and there was a guy in a diaper, smoking a joint. What more could you ask for?

Time Warner Cable

Why are cable companies so completely worthless? As I said before, our internet is out at our house, which is really convenient because that is what I use most often. Great. So after two days of nothing, I decided to jump on the horse and call these freaks again. I have already called them once, but I was on hold for 30 minutes and never reached anyone, and I had to do other things. So I call again today.

I'm not an idiot. You don't have to ask me if I unplugged the modem/router or if I restarted my computer. I already did that and no it doesn't work. I was on the phone for 65 min and my internet still doesn't work. What is that about? No wireless working no router working nothing. Thank you Time Warner. Dear Will at Time Warner transferred me to Robert over at Roadrunner and Robert was pretty stupid too. So thank you for nothing and I appreciate it that you will not send anyone out here to check things out either.

Btw the cat was just biting my wireless card. I don't even know what that means.

Devastating

First things first, I have no internet at my house. For whatever reason, it rained and we no longer have a connection to anytime of server anywhere, which is really handy right now considering I need to find a new place to live and such. Also cool, I am connected to the router and everything, but said router is not connected. It's totally demanding a server but refusing to give it to me, and I am not a fan, which is the reason behind why I am writing this blog from the uncomfortable area that is my boss' office.

Speaking of demanding and refusing, Jan has the best demanding and refusing story in the history of the world, but I will leave that for her to tell because only inquiring minds will remember and actually ask. Also, we have added a new one to the list, patient and aggressive. See how you can apply it to a situation, its entertaining.

Speaking of inquiring minds, my boss has one, which has led me to believe that he is really eager to know what I do on my off time. It's somewhat creepy and weird, and T-Rex and the Freaker-Outer say that we have the weirdest relationship, which is completely true. He really don't need to know what I do in my spare time. It's not interesting.

The only thing interesting that has been going on is the rebirth of the tequila train. It has officially demanded my presence and refused to let me off. It picked up Pooper in LA, swung by Wavehouse to get me and really hasn't ceased movement since. I have managed to try many of tequilas as well, which is weird because I didn't even like it two weeks ago. I am going to go ahead and blame peer pressure and Dave Keeney for this one. If it wasn't for the excessive pressure from him, Chris and Cody, I would have never started this insane trend.

Oh yeah, lastly.....

5 points for an animal, leaderboard closes at 10am on Sunday, so get your scores in. Don't forget to get the bonus point, you don't want to fall behind, and kissing is never assumed.

Thank you for you time
Stinky - Out

Ay Carumba!!!

This week has been the most inappropriate weeks in the history of weeks. I don't know what's been going on or what's in the air or if its just my friends and I, but its out of control. All of us are saying/doing things that are completely off the wall, everyday it feels like we are taking crazy pills and on top of that, we are being really insensitive about things and not caring. What is that about?

Btw what happened last night? Why did the sheparder lose two sheep? Why was Lizard so wasted that she puked at work today after she got out of her car with her co-workers? Why did Pooper have a two day hangover? What was with the porn show by the photographer? Why did I miss it? Was I on the big screen at all? Was anyone else? Why did Duck Fart leave her keys at Pooper's, pick up keys, but then leave her shirt? More importantly why was she not wearing her shirt? Where did T-Rex disappear to?

If anybody can fill me in on what went on, please do.

Crazy talk.

Maxim/Bud Light makes...

• Everyone get really hopped up and make decisions. Good and bad.
• You lose your friends among over 1600 people and then don't hear from them again until the morning.
• Your coworkers act a way you have never seen before...or want to see again for that matter.
• You and your "decisions" be displayed on all the walls for everyone to see.
• You drink excessive amounts of alcohol, you don't care how it tastes.
• Couples who used to date start to argue about how they still sleep with each other.
• "Decisions" happen which could lead to friends/roommates being exceptionally mad at each other, but you don't care and do it anyway.
• You say things you wouldn't say in any other situation, but now you have thrown it out there so I guess its completely fine, right?
• You think your foot is broken in the morning because its excessively bruised and you can barely walk.
• Your good friends call you in the early morning to spill about all their bad "decisions" and you in turn spill yours back.
• You hope to God the next day that all those cameras didn't catch you doing something, and if any did, hope it doesn't make it to the video.
• You love your friends and the stories you can talk/not talk about ever again.

Thanks to all of those who came, we raised a lot of money for the charity and it was a great time. I'll let you know when the video rolls out....

MySpace People...

...freakin crack me up. These people that request to be my friend and send me ridiculous emails saying how my page makes them laugh or how gorgeous I am, etc etc. Really people? Come on, its a gateway to the internet to look around at all the freaks that exist in this world, myself included. I am going to put a few of the pictures of the newest additions to the "want to be friends with Stinky" club.
















Those of you who have read previous blogs know of my personal favorite freek request was Philip, the Mexican guy with long hair, wearing flannel and lace up jeans. He wins, but these "dudes" are pretty sweet as well. Oh yeah and the other day I got two requests from guys who had guns with them in their main pictures. How'd they know I dig guys that are packing heat and have brass knuckles? Is my name Kreitzer? Just kidding buddy...but seriously.

Oh and at the Tavern last night, I will have to scan it at some point to everyone can see it, but this total tool with long wavy hair came up to me last night and gave me a pink plastic egg and inside is a note with his number on one side and on the other is a drawn picture of, I guess, me and him with hearts around us standing on the countryside. I didn't really know what to make of that, but laugh hysterically and then show Jan, Nick, Baker and Jared immediately so they could make fun of him.

That is all...carry on.

Sunday Funday

Christiane needs to take a break from Sunday Fundays for a while because after yesterday's escapade, I don't think my liver will ever talk to me again, seriously. It innocently started with just hanging out eating food at the Wavehouse with Kitty, T-Rex and the Freaker-Outer. The nachos were good, but apparently tequila was better. We all had about 4 shots and were convinced that nothing was affecting us, so up went the hand and another round would come. I don't know who thought taking 9 shots of Patron, a shot of Jager and a Red-Headed Slut was a great idea, but they (or me moreso) were sorely mistaken.

There was dancing, there was laughter, there were blackouts. I haven't had that happen to me in a really long time, but it did. O did I mention we got thrown out of Wavehouse? For whatever reason, I have no clue, some random security guy went up to T-Rex and told her/us to leave, we didn't really know what was going on, we just followed suit. We travelled over to the Sandbar and the guys that work there/with us made ridiculous amounts of fun of us, with good cause. Also, this is for you Jan, I demanded and refused. It was great. I demanded hot wings and 10 beers, cause that was a great choice, then apparently I refused to pay for them and walked out. I don't know why or what I was thinking.

Clearly I had a hangover by 1030PM and both Kitty and T-Rex yacked. Considering I thought I hated tequila [until last Weds when Cody, Brooke, Dave & Chris pressured me into taking Patron], I held my own quite nicely. I can't tell you my stomach doesn't still hurt and that my head felt great last night, but I recovered nicely to say the least.

There was a little bit of this...
p>

A little bit of that...

At lastly...

Community Court

Tonight, I thought I would have a change of pace and watch the local 6 o'clock news instead of Sportscenter thinking that it would be informative, but after the Community Court spot and excessive laughter, I knew that was a bad choice.

The reporter is reporting live from Mission Beach talking about how beach go-ers should watch what they do because it adversely affects the local residents. What spurred the laughter is what came next:

• Reporter: One family is so distraught after coming to the beach today, that they are rethinking where they can have family time. The family witnessed people playing what they called "drinking olympics" [extreme emphasis on the name like it was invented today and no one has ever heard/done it before]
• Father (unhappy concerned voice): [mind you this guy was definitely a rager in college, you can just tell] We saw them playing games and then one guy...one guy...urinated on the seawall.
• Reporter: People should rethink what they are doing at the beach and not treat it so much like a bar.

For starters, its "Beer Olympics" lady, get it right, and it wasn't invented yesterday or today for that matter, we all have been playing it for years so get over it. Secondly, why is this spot called Community Court? Third, you know that dad only said that because on the side mom is freakin out about how society has evolved into such trash and how she cannot subject her kids to this type of behavior; where in reality, dad is keeping tabs on the games and wondering if mom would mind if he stayed behind to get some "thinking" in.

Lastly, and what really caught my attention, I don't believe I have ever witnessed it, but do people pee on the walls at bars? I really don't think they do. I'm sure it has happened, but realistically that doesn't occur on a regular basis. Also, lady, people are laying around in the sun drinking beer, playing games and having fun on the beach. You can't order drinks from anyone, there are no cocktail waitresses, there is no bar or bartenders; so how in anyway are people treating the beach like a bar?

For the record, I immediately returned to Sportscenter. I will never make that mistake again.

16 year olds dude

I was just present for the most ridiculous thing in the history of the world, and thank you Allison (T-Rex) for bringing me because it was entirely worth it.

T-Rex, after locking her keys in her car ala Stinky, had to go to a going away party for a girl she used to work with and invited me to come along. I agree of course because there is liquor involved and I don't know anyone, so clearly an open forum for excessive amounts of shit talking and "what is this?" Of course I am totally down for this event. I would like to point out the following, and let me tell you, all I can think about the entire time is "would it be appropriate to get out my camera to document this so people believe me" and "am I really here right now".

1. T-Rex's old boss is 38, totally fine. His girlfriend is 18, not so fine.
2. Aforementioned boss has a picture of girlfriend and him at her prom in his apartment.
3. I was among the oldest people there, second in line behind T-Rex and boss.
4. Among the party goers are several 16-18 year olds, all girls. I didn't really know what to
do with that. In fact, I was so confused that it led me to the bottle of tequila, and I hate
tequila.
5. There was a lot of falling over and slurring present among said teens, mind you its only
10PM and in the meantime I am thinking which Law & Order will be on when I get
home.
6. Clearly there is a generation gap because the excessive inebriation stemmed from mass
amounts of Captain Morgan, Maker's Mark, Midori, Almond Champagne, Tequila and
Smirnoff Ice, all one right after another. I believe there were shots of Maker's Mark
taken, which I don't even know how to respond to that.
7. The two most wasted ones (both really young) are holding on to one another, which
then leads to a hard fall over the couch and wasted beverage. The camera would have
been so clutch.
8. Words can't even describe what I witnessed because it just wouldn't do it enough
justice.

T-Rex and I leave and the first words out of her mouth are: "yeah, um, did that just happen?"

Stupid Moment of the Day

So I have spent the last 15 minutes yelling at my computer. Why you may ask? Well I was getting really pissed off because I wanted to listen to music and my computer was just not having it in any way, shape or form. Not to mention my hair is doing more or less the same thing, nothing. Lots of frustration was setting in.

The reason my computer wasn't playing music like I wanted: Volume wasn't turned up.

I have absolutely no response to that.

Janette Wilke in a Nut Shell

Innocently sitting there eating my ice cream with Jan, not saying anything, then this comes out of no where:

• Jan: Why is pig so yummy?
• Stinky: Where'd that come from?
• Jan: I thought of the Leaning Tower of Piza and that reminds me of bacon.
• Stinky: You are eating ice cream.

Yea....

Important Announcement

This is a conversation I had today:

• Meatball: Hey....Stop ignoring me
• Stinky: What do you want?
• Meatball: Did you see the new header on my blog? It's sweet.
• Stinky: No. Let me check......Wow
• Stinky: Btw im writing a blog about how you just told me to stop ignoring you so you can tell me about your blog header
• Meatball: In my defense I spent about 30 minutes finding that picture and another 30 figuring out how to get where i wanted on my blog
• Stinky: And I'm definitely adding that point as well.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jonathan Baker.

Just a few comments...

1. David Blaine is an idiot, not a magician. No one in their right mind would ever try to do that, much less think they could succeed. Excerpt from a convo while it was happening:

• Stinky: Seriously why would you do this? This is the most inane thing ever.
• Meatball: At least this idiot isn't going to die if he doesn't make it.
• Stinky: I know but his skin might fall off, so he's got that going for him.
• Stinky: Yeah who really thinks they can do this? And more importantly, who set this record?
• Meatball: He's a bigger idiot for hanging out in the bubble for a week before.
• Stinky: Yeah what is that about? Who's wants to be a human in an aquarium?
• Meatball: So dumb. Way to cheer for being stupid.

2. I wrote my step-mom's Mother's Day card tonight. I hope she doesn't get upset for the following:

• I signed the card Stinky Pants. I hope she knows that I have learned to embrace it and I wasn't trying to take away from the sentimental factor of this Hallmark holiday.
• I said that she is part of the reason why I am such a big deal and such a cool person. She is also the source of all that is humble in me.
• I may have bulleted my points out of sheer habit.
• I also may have said that my dad is lucky he found someone to put up with him.
• I addressed the envelope to "Woman".

There is nothing better...

...than acting like an over-grown 8 year old. Today, for work team building mind you, we went to MCRD to act like little kids. It was awesome. We had pizza, beer, unlimited bowling, unlimited tv, a movie theater and unlimited video games in the arcade. What more could you ask for?

I definitely stunk it up in bowling with almost beating my record high of 92 with a whopping 89. Everyone was envious of my steller bowling skills. I did absolutely regulate my coworker Troy in Area 51, though, with having quite an impressive high score of 15,000 to his 11,000 while having a more accurate shooting game with a 72% over his 50%. Not to give myself kudos or anything, but I will wreck shop in any shooting game, just try to beat me.

Humility at its best.

My own stupidity

I do stupid things from time to time, and I don't like to admit them normally, but usually I have to because people see it and make it a point to bring it up. Well here is a good one from me taking a shower yesterday that clearly no one saw, but its worth a good laugh so I will share.

I gave myself a nose bleed while I was taking a shower.

Why you may ask? More importantly, the better question is how. So I was washing my face not doing anything out of the ordinary, and somehow I managed to get my finger caught in my nose, and with the same face washing velocity, stabbed myself in the nasel cavity high up. I had a nose bleed for about 5-10 minutes and the excessive amounts of flowing water didn't help matters.

That is all. Carry on.

Llama Llama Duck

Ok so I'm really inebriated right now... and its about 3:15AM. I am drunk and my roommate just put his stomach on my face and I don't really get it. Jan has so much hot sauce on her pants its silly. More importantly, we are going to call people in a minute, but Troy was so wasted tonight and Erin went home with Nick, aka the Gourmand, again. I had to walk him, being Tapatio, to his door and Jan tried to make out, but was, again, unsuccessfull. Pat Ass tried to hit parked cars but he was shitty at it. O yeah, Jan and I had the worst Tavern feet, O I mean Sandbar feet in the history of feet, even worse than Hyatt feet. O yeah, I also saw Dave Berg and we took shots of Jager. Jan apparently bought shots of Jager and I was not a part of that, not a fan, o wait, that's not true, I did take shots of Jager and then lied about it. I danced, not sure why, but everyone was a fan, trust me it was a great choice.

So much dancing and so much Sandbar feet. Jan tried to make out so bad. It was great. The Sandbar attacked my feet and then Jan tried to take advantage of Troy cause Erin was taking advantage of Nick, but Jan did not succeed.

For Rent

There is nothing sweeter than when you come home from work relatively early (11AM) and you see that your house is for rent, even though you still live there, and will continue to until July. It's a great feeling.

Also cool, we don't talk to our landlords ever, we just pay rent. I thought, hey maybe I should call them and see what the deal is, but I remembered I don't have their phone number. Good thing they put it on the For Rent sign and I can just go check out the sign on my garage.

Crazy People on MySpace

As we all know I like to embarress all the crazy idiots on myspace who think they can send me random messages like, "hey do you want to fuck?" or "your page looks fun, do you want to be friends?" or "hey you and your friends are hott, do you want to have a threesome?" Mind you let's take note they are probably from podunk Wyoming or Illinois.

No, no, no and no.

No

Why would I want to be? And really, who uses that type of pick up line for one, but on MySpace? Let's get real here.

Here's a good one that was sent to Julia earlier today:
"so I was thinking of making a cartoon movie...well its more of a porno idea, but its funny. we would have a pirate boat full of pirates and it would take over a cruise ship full of clowns. you can gather what happens next. after the pirates and clowns make crazy sex all of a sudden the clowns go nuts and kill the pirates and sink the ship. then on christmas eve the ship and the pirates aboard all rise from the sea, but they are ghosts. so they have a flying ghost ship. they get bored and decide to fly around mainland america. so during the travel they notice a vessel sailing through the air. low and behold its fucking Santa Clause and a sleigh full of elves. all the elves are actually just midgets with pointy ears of course. Mrs Clause is also in the mix. so the pirates take over the sleigh and then crazy midget/santa/pirate sex takes place. one thing leads to another and they break out all of santa's "toys" i dont know how it will end, but i assume it will involve the mcdonalds characters. hamburglars, grimis and yet another clown, fucking ronald will save the day. and the little fry guys and nuggets will be there too. What do you think?"

1. I think you are a fucking freak.
2. Why would you even randomly send this to me, much less think of it?
3. I think I am going to post this for all to see what a moron you are.

Please read his profile, especially his "About Me" portion because it's quite possibly the most entertaining this I have ever read. Let me also reiterate that this guy is white from 29 Palms, California. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=13998630

He is the really unattractive one on the far left; I know its hard to distinguish. No not the really bum looking one, but the one in the yellow.

The Most Ridiculous Shit

Tonight, as I am driving home from work, I let the car coming at me with the right of way turn to his right and then I follow, just wanting to go home. Turns out it's a police officer, so no biggie right? Wrong. He pulls over and I pass him, and to my surprise, he turns on his lights to follow me. Mind you I have had half a beer since 7 and it is now 11:30PM.

First words out of my mouth, "Oh for fuck's sake, what is this about?" He comes over and asks for ID and tells me to get out of the car. For what, I'm thinking because I clearly haven't done anything wrong. This is how the situation plays out:

Cop: Go to the back of your car, do you see anything?
Me: Yes, I see a bumper, some lights, a trunk and the back of a car.
Cop: Anything else?
Me: A license plate?
Cop: Can I get in your car? [I say yes]
Cop: What happens when I push this button?
Me: The small light on the left side goes off.
Cop: Ok then. You can't have your back fog lights on if there is no fog.
Me: Are you serious? I didn't even know I had back fog lights.
Cop: Do you have a manual?
Me: My parents bought this car for me 7 years ago from a family friend. No I don't.
Cop: Well I suggest you get one and look over it to see what everything does.

So he tells me to get back in my car and he goes back to his with my ID. I look in the rear view mirror and the freakin guy is writing me a ticket. What the fuck for? He comes back and tells me he is giving me a citation because I was driving with a back left fog light on without cause. Are you freakin kidding me? Don't you have something else better to do? And better yet, who freakin knows that damn rule, but even worse, who enforces it?

Clearly I am now irate. He comes back and I definitely say "what is this?" [with hand motion] to him and he says "I know this seems silly, but I am writing you a citation for this fog light." Of course I have to say something in return. "Are you freakin kidding me? Nobody does that. My dad has been a cop for 28 years and he has never mentioned that much less given one. And I have been living in this city 6 years in Aug and I have never had an issue." His response: "Well you do now."

Asshole. Just let me be on my merry way and let me freakin go to bed.

Now I have to go to court to tell them that I studied up on the random fog lights in the back and that's I'm knowledgable about them. No one does that. So I am going to plead not guilty at the first showing just to have that jackass come to court on his day off for something so petty and realize what a fuck face he is.

Also, things that could have been brought to my attention sooner, apparently my car, ya know the 1990 Audi, has a recall on it. That's right, 16 years later there is a recall on the sensor for the airbags. How does that happen? I guess I can pick up a manual while I'm there.

A Little Bit of What I Think....

I have decided to start posting my blogs in a separate area for two reasons:

1. They are easier to look back on and laugh at the stupid shit I have said or done.

2. For whatever reason, like I said in a previous MySpace blog, that MySpace is being brought up in work meetings, which means who knows who will be hunting me down and looking at the stupid shit I say and do. Now I will just use this as an area to say the stupid shit I say and do, but at the same time, can't be blamed for whatever because this has no corrolation with MySpace (even though there will be a link to this, if there isn't already).

I just like to cover my bases, besides this has a cooler background.
That's my justification.