Don't be a fool, wrap your tool

There is nothing more random and shocking than opening your email leisurely on a Sunday night to see the top email from your ex-boyfriend whom you haven't heard from in roughly 2 years in regards to his "bundle of joy," which is due on November 2nd, and asking if you are interested in receiving a baby annoucement and the whole story about how the mongril came about.

It's moderately creepy and I almost threw up.

I would just like to point out he was only dating this chick for roughly 3 months before this "thing" developed and it was all due to the fact she is a moron and frolicked in the fields while on antibiotics, which any girl knows cancels out any type of birth control. I would also like to mention she tells him this the night before he leaves for the Peace Corps in Ukraine while training in DC. Perfect timing chickie poo. Clearly he stops ship and comes home, which I think is shitty too because there are other people that obviously deserve to go (aka Reppy) but got screwed instead. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw the email and immediately exclaimed "eww" at the top of my lungs to just be reaffirmed by Poop that the email did exist.

Obviously I didn't want to miss out on some potential future entertainment and shock value, so I emailed him back with our address so we can talk about this again when it joins us in this world. I hope there is a picture included, that would increase the comedy. I know this rant seems rather passive and such, but if you knew the guy and all the things he had planned and going for him, you would think similarly. It just amazes me how some people you think have it all in place immediately lose track of all goals due to a mistake. I know things happen for a reason, but the lead up and response of everyone else really proves me to believe this was a mishap. Who am I to judge?