Asshole Neighbor Lady

Dear Fat Whore Next Door:

Thank you for reporting to Animal Services for our dogs barking. I know that it is so terrible that they may bark for 2 minutes out of the day because they see another dog. How could they? It's not like they are dogs or anything. I would also like to thank you for reporting to animal services that they bark every weekday, every weekend, days and nights for more than 30 minutes at a time because that is completely feasible. Nevermind the fact Murphy can't walk a block without being winded, but he sure as hell can bark 24/7. I also find it amazing that the dogs are inside at night and when we are home, and they must still manage to bark. Is that a silent bark, similar to a dog whistle? Because I can't hear it. Can you hear it right now because Murphy is lying next to me asleep? Oh you can? Amazing. Apparently they bark all day during the week too. How would you know? Do you not work during the day like normal people? Oh you work nights? That means you must hear them while you are gone too. That's some killer hearing you have.

Do you report to the City about the firetrucks blaring their sirens driving warp speeds down Ingrahm? Do you report the bums filtering through your trash at 2am because you don't put it in the garage? Do you report the wasted people walking through the alley? How about the Fast and the Furios Tokyo Drift that lives 5 doors down? Ah you don't? Is that because its ridiculous? But reporting a subtle dog bark is really important, fat whore. Oh and your husband/boyfriend Lance is a pussy. Tell him to start sticking up for himself or else the guys across the alley are going to liquid nail your garage door shut.

One last thing....eff off, get a effing life.
Sincerely,
The Lovely Ladies of 1615