Say Goodbye to Whore Island

It's been a good run at Whore Island 1 & 2 and this neighborhood will be truely missed. The Fab Four (Stinky, Smellso, Pooper and Scooper) met each other here, we grew up together here, we lived together here, we learned a lot about ourselves here and it is unfortunate that we have to officially say good bye this Saturday morning. It actually makes me really sad to think about having to leave this place, which is why I am going to take you guys 5 years back to some of the classics...
Then...






















And now...












We have had some great memories, stories, ups, downs and everything inbetween. Boyfriends and friends have come and gone, but the Four only get funnier, wiser and far closer. Recap of some of the highlights of Whore Island...

-Action shots
-Pre-parties before events
-Get Tanked: Best Birthday themed event ever
-Water fights in the house
-Capture the Flag: Two teams 7 on 7
-Launching anything and everything off the balcony
-Painting the house and fixing the stairs to Hoobastank
-"Let's Have a Rager"
-The Neighbor Guys
-"You look ugly in green"
-Blue Wine
-Black Capes
-New Year's Eve three years running
-4th of July three years running: There is nothing better than the 4th of July in San Diego. If you haven't done it yet, get on the effing bandwagon because its the most anticipated event of the year, next to Thanksgiving.
-Thanksgiving four years running: There is nothing better than Thanksgiving at Whore Island. If you have yet to do it, get on the effing bandwagon because its the most anticipated event of the year.
-Christmas four years running: Nothing like a little mistletoe, egg nog, blue wine and a Christmas tree to get into the spirit of things.
-The infamous pancake slap
-Anchorman, Anchorman, Anchorman
-Love notes from the neighbors
-Ed the old guy next door, the Mafia a few doors down and can't forget the insane landlords Eva and Carlo (Sedigheh is right up there though)
-East Compton Beer Pong Team
-Rockstar Team
-The Infamous Beer Pong Tournament/DVD: Uniforms, guest list, video crew, national anthem, 12 teams, 4 brackets, 2 finalists, 1 winner...

There have been antics, insane stories, practical jokes and mass amounts of laughter that have gone through both houses and it will be missed terribly. If you experienced it, thank you it was great and glad you could be there, and if you didn't, you will have to get to it because we are moving to a New Whore Island where the craziness will continue.

It's been a good show. It's time to say goodbye to Whore Island, you'll be missed.
-Stinky, Smellso, Pooper and Scooper...out

One of the Most Entertaining Moments of the Day

Doing off-premise stuff for work is quite possibly the most entertaining thing. You see the randomest people and the randomest things.

The highlight of being in Chula Vista at Noon:
Old Man enters Rite Aid in a big hurry and stares down the cashier at the register [mind you she is helping people and there are four registers open] and says:

• Old Man: Hey, are you a cashier?
• Cashier: Yes.
• Old Man: Ok don't go anywhere. I'm in a hurry, I'll be right back, wait for me.

I don't even know how to respond to that...

No Pun Intended

• Stinky: There you went underwear, I knew you were in there [drawer that is]
• O Todd: [Gives weird look]
• Stinky: What? I'm talking to my underwear. Don't worry about it.
• O Todd: I hope its not giving you any back talk.
• Stinky: [erupts in excessive/unnecessary laughter] Good one.

Extreme

Can we just talk about how effing hot it is here in San Diego. It's completely uncomfortable. It's like 85 degrees all day long, not to mention the humidity is up to like 60% or more, which is completely ridiculous for here, I'm constantly out and about on the pavement and since the 4th of July holiday is coming and the Bartender's Ball is tonight, we have been running around like crazy people. Doesn't really help out the cooling off process. I don't know how many cold showers I can take to cool off.

Mrah...oh yeah, I have an interview at 715 tomorrow morning, which is sweet cause I'll be out relatively late tonight, sweet life.

Last Night

Happy Birthday Kelsey. I'll just start with that. I have no idea what happened last night. Not a clue. How do you go to a bar with like 8 people and manage to not come home with any of them? How do you wake up this morning and realize everything is missing and you don't know how you got home? I blame tequila and the Masshole.

Series of events this morning:

• Wake up and don't know how I got home.
• Lay around and really contemplate how I got home.
• Realize that I came home alone in a cab, even though Smellso, Greg and Pooper were all with me and coming home to the same place.
• Thought about it and realized I took said cab home to my old house (Whore Island), which I haven't lived in for about a year now. Cabbie was pissed at me.
• Don't worry I then realized that I got him back for being pissed at me, yeah I yacked on his door. Classy I know, but that's all I could do at the time.
• Walked the Murph and saw that my shoes were outside, couldn't figure that one out. My bra was in the hallway. I still don't get it.
• Cleared it up this morning when Smellso told me she came home to me sitting on the front porch alone banging my shoe on the front door cause I didn't have a key. I don't really remember that so we can go ahead and say it didn't happen.
• Did I mention I lost my phone last night? Searched everywhere today and couldn't find it. Sat down on my couch and heard the beep, got stoked and called it again. I found it. Where you may ask? It was on the bumper of my car outside. Duh, where else would you put it?
• Went to put my key in my car door and it wouldn't fit. Turns out I managed to bend it incredibly badly last night. I don't really ask questions.
• I'm still hung over.
• Pooper yacked at 530PM today.

On the plus side, our 1-9-1 softball team went ahead and won the championship during the playoffs today and earned a good looking trophy. How about that one? Don't act like you aren't impressed.

More to Come...

I don't know what happened last night...but I blame The Pit and well tequila.

More to follow later

What Just Happened?

The conversation I just had on the street with a pair of random guys that randomly approached me:

• Guy: You have a rockstar hair cut. It's fun.
• Stinky: Thank you. I get that a lot (In the attempt to be somewhat rude so he would go away)
• Guy: Are you in a band?
• Stinky: Yeah I'm in a band. ::severe sarcasm::
• Guy: Really? Where do you play. Wow a celebrity.
• Stinky: No I'm not in a band.
• Guy: Are you a Charger girl?
• Stinky: No.
• Guy: Are you wearing underwear?
• Stinky: What? Are we really having this conversation right now?

Clearly I had to walk away at that point, laugh and try to figure out what just happened.

The Shakes

"Do you ever get the shakes? I do. I have to take a shot or have a beer or something to make them go away."

Direct quote from someone I know. Now I feel that once you reach this point in your life you may want to reevaluate your status in life and what you are doing with yourself because in no way is this normal. More importantly, shouldn't you recognize you have a problem at some point and realize this is not a normal question to ask a group of people? I don't know , maybe that's me, but really?

What's worse is the aging look at the ripe old age of 20 something. People should not comment on you saying "you look worn" or "you look like you have been through a lot". What does that even mean? T-Rex and I were talking about this and theoretically someone should say something to said person, but there is just nothing to can say to that. I don't even know how to respond. But more importantly, how do you even get to that point? I mean I know HOW you get to that point, but how do you do that to yourself day after day after day? Freaks me out really.

Ouch

I thought starting to pack today would be a good idea, which it was, considering I am moving next Friday and Saturday and you know the fun in that. As I am pulling apart this wire cube storage unit, mind you I am pulling hard to get the pieces apart, I manage to hit myself in the face with the wire part at full force. It hurt like no other, my first instinct is if I messed my teeth up (yeah, that hard) and I fell to the ground.

After an hour or so I looked in the mirror and realized I have a nice red spot where I hit it as well as swelling. Sweet.

Stupid move of the day.

The Busy Signal

I called my grandparents yesterday because it was my Nanu's birthday and since he has been going strong for so long, I wanted to make it a point to call him and wish him a good one. But that's besides the point. The first time I called, the phone didn't ring and started to make this beeping noise. I was caught off guard at first because I didn't know what it was, but then I realized, it was the busy signal. I haven't heard that in ages.

At dinner last night, I brought up the busy signal to O Todd and wanted his thoughts on the last time he has heard it, and he couldn't really place it. I thought about it and there are really only two land lines that I call (1) my parents and (2) my grandparents, but normally it rings straight through. I just thought it was quite the concept that we always call cell phones now and get sent straight to voicemail if both lines are occupied. So I guess think about it and remember when the last time you heard it was....or you can think about how I have wasted the past few minutes of your life talking about a busy signal.

The "Point" Anthem

I forgot to touch on this about two weeks ago when it happened, but Pooper and I have come to terms that there is an official "Point" anthem. I didn't think such an amazing thing could exist, but it does. Eddie Money did us well with "Take Me Home Tonight" as the official "Point" anthem and I really wish we could repay him.

This revelation occurred at the Beachcomber on a Friday night mind you, where Pooper and I were having the hardest time getting drunk, which is absolutely ridiculous if you think about who was involved (Pooper and I) and the situation (Friday night.) Regardless, after hearing the "Point" anthem and having several beers, Effin Sprites and finally the kicker, Red Bull Vodka, the drunkenness set in.

Whole point of the story (no pun intended) is that there is a "Point" anthem and its amazing. If you don't know what I mean by "Point" or "Points" please seek me out immediately and I will explain. Otherwise, you know how it works...everything is due Sunday at 10am : )

"Take me home tonight!
I don't want to let you go till you see the light!
Take me home tonight!
Listen honey,
just like Ronnie sang: Be my little baby!"

There is something in the air...

For whatever reason, there is drunkenness in the air and its catching everyone off guard.

1. I call my dad's friend today to see where to drop off his wife after I pick her up from the airport. He is wasted at Hooter's for five hours straight, starting at noon, with his buddies.
2. Call T-Rex and the Freaker-Outer and sure enough they are in OB taking shots of Patron at 2PM.
3. O Todd comes home and immediately says "Hey Christiane, do you feel like getting wasted right now?"
4. Beer and a shot at Tavern tonight...woo doggie.

Usage of the "Fake Boyfriend"

It's so nice to go out with guy friends who are completely fine with you using them as your "fake boyfriend" in the time of need. For instance, last night The Pit and I are convinced this one guy in an extremely hot pink shirt is gay, and, of course, Chris goes right up to him and tells him I think he is attractive, just to test it out. Tony (we found out his name later) comes right up to me incessantly hitting on me, which, in return, tell him we were placing bets on whether or not he was gay. Apparently not, but he was in no way upset at the thought and continued to hit on me. After making fun of him for a good 15-20 minutes I then used The Pit as much "fake boyfriend" to get 5'5" nerd kid away. Thanks Dave. Nerd kid was not impressed and definitely walked away with a look of defeat.

Speaking of The Pit, let me tell you...give that guy a few drinks and some tunes and the amazing dancing entertains all.


Few more pictures from the evening

Btw, in case anyone is interested, there may be a possible brother DeSalvo siting in San Diego this weekend. Don't hold your breath, but just maybe....

Four Things

1. I bought a new bike today and its incredibly cute. Jan and I got overly excited while we were having lunch and decided today was the day to get them, especially with the 4th of July rapidly approaching and having to move. It was an excellent choice and the guys at the bike shop are our new best friends, but that is probably because we spent a good three hours with them; in no way is that because I am indecisive.
2. I was spotted walking down Mission Blvd due to my significant hair flip. I don't even know what that means, but its amazing.
3. I have a strong dislike for my former roommate because he is incredibly inconsiderate and disrespectful and I am not a fan. Please, if you have any courtesy whatsoever, do not ask to be our roommate for an extended period of time when you were supposed to move out after 3 months and then peace out one month before we are supposed to move and expect us to store your shit, and when we say no and you have it here for 2 weeks, we get upset about it. It's not fair, its inconsiderate and no I will no longer have respect for you because you are an unappreciative asshole. That is all.
4. For those of you who know me well, know that I have been going through a rough time right now with my grandfather having another heart attack yesterday and looking like he was not going to survive. He looks a lot better and will be transferred to Stanford Medical either tonight or tomorrow morning. Keep him in your prayers because he is a good man and I am not sure how much more he can take.

NEWS FLASH!!!!

Very important information. Everyone take note.

THE SILVER FOX IS UNDERGOING A PAINT JOB. YOU WILL NEVER RECOGNIZE IT.

And my never recognize it, I mean you can't freakin miss it. The insane owner who shall remain nameless (moreso because I don't know her name) decided to paint the Silver Fox bright teal. Effing TEAL! No one does that. She asked our opinion and we had to tell her it was great cause she is insane. We suggest like a deep red, but her response "It is too much like the Red Light District. I don't want to suggest its a whore house." Riiiiight. Right after that she told us to hurry up with our work because she is buying us drinks and she is drinking everything fast. I would also like to point out its 2PM and she is ordering up shots for Josh and me, which is in no way weird. I said I didn't want shots and so the owner suggests a really strong margarita. It was then when I remembered I was in a loading zone and needed to bail.

Josh then brings to my attention as we are leaving that not only is this lady insane but apparently someone has committed suicide in the front doorway in front of everyone. So basically I am now deathly afraid of the Silver Fox. No pun intended.

Make me puke

I called my Mom two days ago because I haven't talked to her in a while and I thought it would be a nice gesture. Well I could have gone without the conversation that we had. We were chatting about life and what have you when she tells me to hold on. I don't want to hold because I have a feeling I know what's coming. She puts my brother's girlfriend, Gina, on the phone without telling me. Awesome thanks. She starts small talk with me and tells me she just got back from visiting my brother in the desert for a week. Sweet.

• Gina: When I was visiting your brother, he asked me to marry him.
• Stinky: Yeah? What'd you say? [holding back throw up]
• Gina: I said yes. So we are engaged now. We haven't set a date yet so don't worry.
• Stinky: Eh....yay [all hesitant] {Mom gets back on the phone}
• Mom: Did you ask about her ring?
• Stinky: No.
• Mom: It's gorgeous. It's not some cracker jack ring or anything. It's so pretty.
• Stinky: I bet. I got to go. I have to go wash my hair.

Seriously? Seriously!?!?!?!? What the eff? No one does that. He's 19. She's 18 just graduated from high school. Mind you this little skank lives with my mom too...which I do not approve of at all, but that is an entirely different story for another time. I'm not going to the wedding either. I have already decided and no one is changing my mind, unless there is an open bar during the vows and such, then I may make an exception. But honestly this is the worst decision in the history of the world. I called my dad and he was none to pleased, granted none of my family is in all honesty. Five minutes after I told him he leaves me a message saying "Thanks for telling me that Christiane. I am having a beer because it has driven me to drink. I hate you."

My sister has a valid point too. Who does this kid think he is by leaving our family and not talking to us for a year or two, go into the military, say he has changed and then expect us to be all loving and welcoming him back with open arms? I don't think so sir. And you can't bring this situation on us and think we are going to be stoked. He is insane.

This chick is a total skank.

Drinks anyone?

Letter to the Public

To Whom It May Concern:

I have officially deemed myself "Stinky, The Social Guru" because apparently no one can function in social settings and/or get-together's without me organizing it and telling everyone what to do, where to go and what time to be there. It's unbelieveable. And when I don't know about a social gathering, it's like hell has frozen over and no one knows what to do. A million questions get thrown at me like "are you going to be there?" "can you make it?" "are you sure you have time?" Not only that, but even when I do know about the event/get-together, I get a million phone calls the day and night of to verify the exact plans. What is all that about? I don't make plans early, I like to be spontaneous and I like to keep my options open, so yes if I am free then I will be there, if not, tough shit, I am sure the event can still happen. What cracks me up the most is the utter dismay in whomever's voice when I say I didn't know about it. Also the best part is, if I didn't know about, that means the ones that are closest to me apparently don't know about it either and that is just unacceptable. I know we are important and all, but shit. Also, apparently when I am unavailable, my duties get passed on to Pooper, whom (I guess) is Second in Command when it comes to making social decisions and fulfilling appearance requests. She then immediately contacts me for consulting and group decision making.

Therefore, if you have something that requires any of our presence, please contact me so I can filter it down to the rest of the posse because clearly it has to get passed through the Social Guru in order for all to appear. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Stinky, The Social Guru

Nicknames

Nicknames come and nicknames go, some stick and some don't, but for whatever reason Stinky Pants has now taken everyone I know by storm and that is just what I am known as. At home, among friends, at work, it doesn't really matter. (We can all thank Baker for that one)

Today I run into my draft tech, Scotty, at Longboard's and I manage to scare the shit out of him while he is in his car on the phone. Apparently he is on the phone with his wife and tells me to say hello. I do and she asks who it was, his response: "It's Stinky Pants, you remember her right?"

Stinky is just blowing up

Thoughts

- Conversation I had with Smellso today:

• Stinky: I feel like brats today. They sound amazing.
• Smellso: I had a brat last night and the brat holder was stale.
• Stinky: Brat holder? You mean bun?

- In no way is it weird that I walk around the house all day today with a black sweat band around my head, a red/yellow/green one on my forearm and nerd glasses.

- Phenomenon of the day: Appealed tag-up in slow-pitch softball that leads to an out against us even though the other team is up by 7. Mind you the appeal is after the call has already been made, a situation the umpire didn't even see, just heard about. No one does that.

- Women's College World Series: If you haven't watched it, you should. They are amazing and if anyone saw the Northwestern/UCLA game today you would know what I mean.

"What are you doing?"

Guys crack me up. They really think they are so sly and charming, but really, we know what you are really up to. My favorite thing, which always gets a great laugh and share among friends, is the late night text message. Here are some of the most common/entertaining:

1. "What are you doing?"
2. "Where are you?"
3. "What's up?"
4. "What are you up to tonight?"
5. "Hi" or "Hey"
6. "Come over"
7. "How's it going?"

Honestly you guys, what are you thinking? Like we don't know what you are up to or what you want. I mean its always somewhere between 1AM and 3AM and its a generic question like those listed above, or some derivative. Come on, what is that about? What do you think we are doing at that hour? Odds are usually good I am at home asleep (or not sleeping according to my newest insomnia trip) or I am out with my friends, and sometimes, on a good day, I am knitting and/or playing croquet, I mean come on. The best part is when it is followed with the obvious question of "do you want to come over" after you respond back.

No. No I do not want to come over. If I wanted to come over I probably would have made some valid attempt earlier in the evening or have made some attempt in the past, which would mean the random late night text message would be unnecessary. So no, I don't want to come over.

The responses to "No" are always classic as well.

1. "Get in your car and come over here right now" - Really? Do you think I want to come over even more with an aggressive invite? Right. We should work on that one.
2. "I feel like tonight is a night where we hook up all night" - Straight up and to the point. Who says that? I mean come on. No comment needed.
3. "Come over. It will be worth your while." - Will it? I don't think so. So I am still going with no on that one.
4. "I thought we were going to hang out today" - Sly and friendly approach. It still doesn't work and don't try to make me feel guilty because I am still not coming over.

What's even more classic is the fact that we share these things among our friends and they say the same thing and/or have the texts on file to share with you back. It's high comedy and is always the same, yet never gets old. The best part is is that after the texts are done in the night, they come back a few days later and the same response is given. NO. I do give you guys credit though for the continued trying; perseverance at its best. And after its all said and done with the texting and excessive laughing, it is never spoken of again nor do we make fun of said guy when we see them out.

So guys, just so you know, we know what you are insinuating right away and we share with our friends immediately for a quick laugh, so don't think you are sly/clever because you aren't the first, nor will you be the last.

Rock N' Roll Marathon

I never really thought about it until now, but for the past 5 years of living here, I have never tried to leave my house/go somewhere during the Rock N Roll Marathon on Sunday morning. In retrospect, what a great idea. Now I am sitting here and I have to be to Ocean Beach by 10:15AM and I can't figure out for the life of me how I am going to get there.

163S is closed. Can't get to the 8W because of the 163S being closed. Friars is closed. Napa is closed (which eliminates Linda Vista). Clairemont is closed. Seriously, what is this about? I am trapped at my house and its completely annoying. Not to mention the fact that I woke up to some random cheer squad going crazy in my backyard for this freakin thing. Don't they know I am having trouble sleeping as it is? I don't particularly want to hear "Fired Up!" at 645AM on a Sunday. It's just not my thing.

I have to go now because I think I have to drive to La Jolla in order to get to Ocean Beach.